So my son E is 5, he has long…very long blonde wavy/curly hair. He has never had a proper ‘hair cut’ at all, he’s only ever wanted to have it trimmed which is totally fine by me. When he had shoulder length hair nobody really thought anything of it, then it got longer and longer! It’s now about half way down his back and he LOVES it! In the summer before he started school I asked him if he’d like it cut, he didn’t. I warned him that people might make comments about it or be unsure if he was a boy or a girl, he said he didn’t mind and that he would correct them. He has his hair up for school most days (not school picture days), so it doesn’t get in the way while he plays and he doesn’t have to worry about putting it up himself before PE (it would look dreadful!)
However nothing has changed, people still refer to him as she and say what a beautiful little girl we have. He corrects them promptly and proudly. He usually gets a response like “Oh I’m so sorry I should’ve guessed by your Spiderman shoes” or “The Star Wars t-shirt was a giveaway, I’m sorry!”
He doesn’t much like this either… he knows that girls can wear Spiderman shoes and Star Wars tops and that boys can wear pink and have long hair. (He spent most of his 2 years at nursery dressed up as either a fairy or Elsa from frozen when that came out – his hair was perfect for Elsa!)
Next time you see a child that doesn’t fit into your idea of what a girl or boy should look like, please remember, as parents we’ve worked hard to make sure our children are not worried about what colour toy they play with or whether they shop in the boys or girls section. A simple “Hello” will do just fine, you’ll probably hear us use the correct pronouns at some point if you really need to know.
Boys can have long hair too!
So following my last post, I mentioned that whilst on maternity leave I have been considering my options as far as jobs go. I’m due to go back to work very very soon but I’m really considering looking for something else in the near future. Like I mentioned before, I don’t have higher education, I just have a few GCSE’s but I’d be willing to study, train, learn and work really hard to gain a new valuable skill or two. I’m looking for a really long term job, something I’m going to enjoy for years and years, something with opportunities to progress and better myself further all whilst being flexible around my life with two children.
Is there a job out there like that?! Can you get that from a part time job?!
So then I put my thinking cap on, I tried to write down some things I’d like to do, some things I think I’d be good at. I came up with nothing, zilch, zero, completely blank.
I don’t know what I want to do with my life! How can I look for IT when I have no idea what IT is?! More importantly do I deserve IT? I haven’t been to college or university, I don’t have life experience!
Who’s going to want to hire me? All I know is, I want to make my children proud of me, I want them to say “I know my mum had us young, but look what she achieved. She worked hard and she was there for us too.”
Time to stop thinking and start doing…..
So when you think young mum, do you think job, career, hard working? Not many people do, what a surprise! Well for the first year of my son’s life I didn’t work, I made the decision not to even try and get a job until he was coming up for 1 so I could see him say his first word, take his first step and I could enjoy him selfishly just for a while. When he was about 9 or 10 months old I started searching for jobs and a month after his birthday almost to the day, I started my first ever job. I worked in a local shop just a 10 minute walk from my house, I can’t say I really enjoyed it but I was proud of myself for providing for my family, I worked there for about 2 years and managed to move on to work in a nursing home where I still work now.
I’m due to go back in a few weeks after being on maternity leave to have my daughter, i’m really apprehensive about going back! If I was financially able to, I’d be a stay at home mum, however my bills need paying!
I have never faced any discrimination in relation to being a young mum in the workplace luckily but I have struggled with my own confidence when it comes to working.
I didn’t go to college and gain higher education, all I have in terms of education is a few GCSE’s. I really enjoy my job and the new things it’s opened me up to but eventually I’d like to try my hand at something different. Whilst on maternity leave I’ve been looking at what’s out there and I find myself thinking that i’ll never get that job because I’m young and I haven’t achieved anything, not college, not university and I haven’t experienced ‘life’ as such. I’m just your average ordinary every day mum, I wash up, do laundry, make bottles, change nappies, make dinner and do loads and loads of housework!
I’d love to know if any other young mums have felt like this too?
I never got round to blogging when we got back from diggerland, I was so tired by the time I was all tidied up I had a cuppa and went to bed! It was a fantastic cheap day out, I happened to win 2 tickets which covered me and hubby so we only had E to pay for as F gets in for free. The rain stayed away and we went on almost everything, we even spent far too long in the soft play area…even though we go to our local one a lot..a day out at diggerland meant we had to go in theirs too! So E is now “the big 5” as he keeps calling it, and insists he no longer needs help for 90% of things. When he hopped into the bath without needing my help I felt so redundant, he now helps bathe his sister instead, he washes her hair and holds his hand over her eyes and cleans between her fingers and toes, he keeps telling her not to forget to wash behind her ears too! Now he’s busy helping me plan F’s first birthday even though it’s not until December.
Speaking of F, we’ve decided to start using reusable cloth nappies. I have ordered a ‘starter pack’ today and we can’t wait to get going! We worked out that we would’ve spent about £700 on nappies from birth to 3 (if she’s still in them at 3) and although it’s a little bit of money each week, I didn’t realise it would add up to quite that much in the long run! We’ve spent about 10% of that to get our started pack which says it’ll last right from birth to potty training so we wont need to buy more. What a saving! I ordered a random selection of colours, I’m not worried about F being in pink or purple any more than I am E having his long blonde curly hair.
They’ll be arriving this week so I will be searching the net for information until they get here. In the mean time if you have any tips/advice for a total beginner please please let me know!
https://viewer.millioneyez.com/?missionId=589879953f83fca00bca5061&minimal=falsevia million eyez
Okay so I’ve totally neglected this whole blogging thing recently, it was E’s 5th birthday and I spend SOOOO long prepping for it! I promised a star wars party but I had to do it on a budget! I made as much as I could to save money like party bags and lightsabers. (Thank you pinterest!!)
We had so much fun, pretty sure the kids did too They enjoyed Darth Vader sarnies (using cookie cutters) Princess Leia teacakes (using rolos as buns) marshmallow stormtrooper cupcakes, lightsaber chocolate pretzels and cucumber and carrot lightsabers too. Unlike most parties, the sarnies were gone in seconds, closely followed by the cupcakes!
Now we’ve finished celebrating the big 5 we’re going to enjoy the half term! Tomorrow we’re heading off to Diggerland to have some seriously muddy fun! Bring it on.. I’ll be back shortly…for good!
Like, really hard!
Sure, the nappies are easy to change – even when they explode everywhere! Bottles are easy to make and the love is so so easy to give.
BUT the judgement is hard, the comments and dirty looks are hard, the loneliness is really hard.
I had what I thought was a good group of friends at school, we spent a lot of time together, doing all the irresponsible things that teenage girls do. Then came my pregnancy, I was already 6 months pregnant and showing when I found out (I know! I thought I was just gaining weight!) so hiding it was not an option. My friends were seemingly supportive and helpful, asking about bump, looking at my scan picture and a few even gave me little gifts for E when he arrived. Then he actually arrived, 99% of those friends disappeared before I could even say baby! Suddenly I was alone, I had my partner, my mum and my nan as support, where was everybody else?
I don’t blame them, what 15/16 year old wants to hang out with ‘the girl with the baby’?! Then came one friend that came to see us not long after E was born, we grew up very close but hadn’t been so close in recent years. She became E’s godmother. She didn’t seem to mind. She stared back when they stared at me, defended me and encouraged me ignore the awful things people said. I will forever be grateful to her.
I tried a baby group in the hope of learning from older experienced mums and have a chat with someone who also had a newborn, I guess needing some reassurance that the things I was feeling and going through were normal. These mums all looked 30+ and honestly, I never went back! In hindsight I should’ve stuck it out but I felt like everybody was looking at me and secretly judging me. I even tried a young mum group, full of mums 20-24. I was 16! I never went back there either.
I was lonely. I trudged on, loving every second of being at home with E but dreading having to leave the house with him. I should have held my head high, been prouder and ignored the comments.
Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve!
Hindsight is a wonderful thing.
Welcome to my blog, this is my household.
First of all there’s me, I love music, I try my best to be crafty (thanks to pinterest!) I enjoy doing charity runs, using coupons to save on my weekly shops and i’m partial to entering a competition or two!
My Other half, he loves all things gaming, geek, sci-fi and nerdy. He’s a whiz with computers and gadgets.
We met very very young and became ‘girlfriend and boyfriend’ it was all rather cute. We’re heading for 9 years together and planning a wedding now. We found out we were pregnant when I was 15, my partner 17. I was at school, felt a ‘kicking’ in my stomach and bought a test that evening..2 lines! I booked an appointment with my GP and was sent for a scan. Then then was a shock…BOOM 6 months pregnant. I had been on the contraceptive injection for around a year so this wasn’t what we had in mind. 3 months to prepare for our little boy, within weeks our families had pulled together and helped us so much, we were ready. At the end of may 2011, after a very traumatic birth, he was here.
My mam, she has a lot of health issues including fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis, she suffers a lot but we make the most of the good days! She loves to crochet and makes beautiful hats, animals and baby booties.
My son E is now 4 (almost 5) he’s at school and loving it! If you were to ask him about himself, he’d tell you he was Thor, he has long blonde wavy hair and is most certainly super.
My daughter F is 3 months old, we tried for almost 2 years to get pregnant unsure we’d be able to after I got a diagnosis of PCOS shortly after E was born. On April 7th 2015 we got our positive! 10 days before Christmas 2015 she arrived, very quickly and very happily.
Chester is our beautiful middle child, he has 4 legs and fur, some on him and some on the floor. We got him in July 2014 when he was 6 months old, he fits in perfectly.
So that’s us! If you’re still reading then thank you very much, I hope you stay and find out more.